Sleep Tight, My Gun

that spark.

...it could start a forest fire.

That exact moment my heart double-timed, leaving my lungs playing catchup. It was gold. Absolute gold. Out of every experience I have had, that is the one I felt the most. I knew was right. I loved. I stopped for a breath. "do you feel it too?" ...oh yeah. I feel it. So much.

Fuck "rushing things".
My soul has never had this feeling. It feels like gold.

I'll protect you. With all I have. I will.

I'm Still Waiting Here, My Dear, For One Kiss From You

i like her.

screw correct capitalization right now, i'll fix it later. she's fun. she wants me to be happy. she's okay with my bizarre ways. i smell like her. i don't know anything about her.

that needs to change.

i hope she realizes that she has become really important to me really fast. really fast. i also want her to know that it's gonna take a godawful long time for me to make a huge move. i'm so afraid of dating.

i was right, by the way. i missed cuddling. a lot. i needed it back. nights sitting on that lumpy damned couch cuddling with someone who means something make my life.

that's all i have to say about that.

.

She downgraded.

A lot.

I would enjoy this. I should enjoy this.

You're a backstabbing bitch. You're a bitch. You knew. You knew I would care too. What the fuck were you doing? I'm angry at you.

I'm tired.

I'm having a few bad nights.

I really want to settle down with someone. I miss having a girlfriend so much. Someone needs to put me in my place, because apparently I'm not capable of doing it by myself.

I'm depressed. I am. I have a long strand of good days that boost my mindset in to the cockiest motherfucker to drive the streets of bergen county and then that driver gets pulled over. and arrested. I have to have some disorder. Good good good good good BAD. Fuck this. I want love. That's the only thing I'd ever be desperate for. I get enough lustful satisfaction to fullfill the desire of a bull on extacy, but I can't seem to find anyone to dedicate myself to.

My investment is huge. If i put more than a month of time into you, realize it fucking means something. I don't talk to people with intentions of keeping them around as often as most. I have maybe 3 or 4 kids that I actually feel I need in my life. The rest are disposable or replacable to me. I mean that. I've said it before, I've separated myself from emotional attachment.

Only one person can absolutely destroy me. Only one person has that much of an emotional investment from me. One.

You Were All That We Needed

It's not boredom as much as hatred towards time that could be spent accomplishing something.

Never Again Will You Rely On The Words Of Your Friends

Really?
I don't think so.

What you're doing is complete bullshit. I know it is. You know it is. I haven't thought about you in forever, why now? If you plan to back up your unsupportable keyboard, do it soon. You tell me you miss me, you want to see me, not talking to me "hurt" you. I think you're completely full of shit.

...And percocet.

They insult your drugs. A lot. For some reason, it's not really phasing me. It should. It should phase you too. I don't really want to get into that.

You don't miss me. You don't want to see me. Not talking to me doesn't hurt you. I phase you as much as the morality behind your actions does. News for you, hun: I can play the game much better than you.

I'm matching you.

Completely.

You're gonna get a mirror image of yourself. The closer you go, the closer I go. The further, likewise. Try me. You can't do what you want with me. I know how it goes, I know the loopholes, I know the phrases, I know it all.

I am bound to her.

For some odd reason, though, I miss you. For that short time, I was oddly satisfied. They're not gonna like this, but I've taken up a brutally honest lifestyle which is going golden for me. The reason I'm accepting you again isn't for your benefit. It's for me. I need to see something, but I don't know what. All I know is that I need this.

You're immaculately beautiful.
You're incomprehensibly flawed.

Mass animal murder is more of a burden than Columbine. Fucking BP and their goddamn oil.